Shadow of the Force
by Asylumina
Summary: Poe Dameron/OC/Kylo Ren AU Kylo Ren's apprentice is a skilled fighter who comes to an important crossroad. *Spoilers for Force Awakens*
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Kylo Ren stood in the large darkened room, clad in full armor. From the shadows, a hooded figure emerged. The shadow figure stood there for a moment. Ren could practically hear the smirk the figure gave him. Ren was the first to produce his lightsaber. The bright red light appeared in a straight line, then the crossbars appeared at the base. Next, the shadow figure produced their own saber. The first red line shown forth, then a second at the other end of the handle.

Ren was ready, and so was the hooded figure. The figure lunged first, saber raised in a horizontal fashion. Ren bent backward to dodge the first blow, but missed the second as it knocked his helmet. For a spit-second he lost his balance, but went after the figure that was running past him. The figure spun and took another swing at Ren, barely missing his throat. Ren ran closer with his saber raised. With his torso exposed, the figure kicked their boot at his chest, causing him to fall on his back. Ren tapped into the force and pulled on a faraway crate to block the next attack. He used the force to bring forth another crate to whack the figure onto their back. Ren swung his legs and in one swift movement was on his feet again. He lunged at the figure again, narrowly missing as the figure rolled away. The figure tumbled, landing on their feet in a crouched position. The figure used their own force to grab hold of another crate and fling it at Ren. The figure then backward-somersaulted to behind Ren and pushed him to the ground once more. The figure placed the end of the lightsaber at the base of Ren's throat.

"I went easy on you," came his distorted voice. The figure powered-down their lightsaber and extended a hand to assist Ren. He took hold of it and swiftly lifted himself up.

"I could have done the same if you did not." The figure's voice was equally distorted due to the helmet. It was half blood red and half black with dull horns on the top, resembling Darth Maul. Kylo Ren walked toward the door of the practice room.

"We will practice again tomorrow at the same time. For now, follow me." His walk was graceful, yet intimidating. The figure walked swift behind Ren, not as graceful but highly intimidating. Some have said more so than Ren.

In the control room, Ren walked to General Hux. "Where is the prisoner?" He asked.

"Interrogation room 226," Hux replyed eyeing Ren's apprentice behind him. "He hasn't spoken told us anything of much importance. We believe he has the map that leads to Skywalker." Ren said no more to Hux and turned on heel toward the door. The apprentice followed close behind turning once more to see Hux staring.

"You will watch the interrogation from the corner of the room." Ren told his apprentice as the door was about to open. The apprentice entered first and caught sight of the prisoner. His hair was dark and curled. He wore a Resistance uniform and smirk plastered across his face. That smirk would not remain for long. Ren came into the room. After the pilot would not answer his questions, Ren stretched his arm to the pilot's head. As Ren used the force to tap into the pilot's mind to find the whereabouts of the map, the apprentice removed their hood. Ren discovered the map to be within a BB-8 unit.

"Watch the prisoner, Shadow." Ren said as he walked out of the room. As the doors shut, Shadow, the apprentice, noticed two Storm Troopers guarding them. As they shut, the pilot found himself alone with Shadow.

"Do I at least get to see your face?" The pilot asked. After no response, he swallowed the small flow of blood coming from inside his throat. "Shadow, right? I'm Poe Dameron. I've heard of you, Shadow Maul. I know all about your grandfather. The only thing the Resistance doesn't know about you is what you look like." His words were sly and spaced through winces of pain. It ached for him to speak, Shadow could tell.

"Let's keep it that way." The distorted voice said.

"Come on, just a little peak. I promise I won't tell." His sarcastic remark was responded to with silence. The doors opened again to reveal the lead Storm Trooper. She motioned for Shadow to follow her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Shadow plopped onto the bed, exhausted from fighting with Kylo Ren. He said Shadow was welcome to return to the bed chamber.

Shadow removed the red and black helmet and red and black locks flowed down her back. She moved to the mirror. She rubbed her yellow and red eyes and lightly tapped on her pale skin. Laying back on the bed, she welcome the sleep that consumed her, though not the dreams that plagued her mind.

 _There was a knock on her chamber door. Checking the time, she saw it was two in the morning. Reluctantly, Shadow got up from the bed. Not trusting the loud knock, she grabbed hold of her saber, and cautiously approached the door. She flung it open to find the pilot from the day before leaning on her doorframe. "I knew I'd see that pretty little face sometime." He entered the room with a sly smirk on his face. Behind him, Kylo Ren burst through the door and used his saber to decapitate Poe Dameron. Just as she was about to scream, Ren raised his saber to Shadow._

Shadow woke up in a cold sweat. She looked at her clock; three in the morning. Her breathing was heavy and her heart raced. Shadow grabbed her hooded cloak and her boots, and she ran to the dining hall. With her hood covering her head, she scurried quickly to the refrigerator in the backroom of the hall. Her mouth was dry and she desperately craved water.

Shadow welcomed the taste of fresh water meet the back of her throat. Suddenly, she heard the sound of someone coming. Quickly, she closed the door to the refrigerator and kept the half full cantine of water and hid under a nearby table.

"The prisoner won't make it much longer." She heard a trooper say.

"What does that matter," Kylo Ren said. "Let him die. We got what we wanted out of him." The footsteps faded into the distance. Shadow looked at the canister in her hand, and came to a decision.

Shadow stared at the doors to Interrogation room 226 and debated her decision. If she was caught, she would be killed. She decided it was a risk she was willing to take.

Poe was strapped to the prisoner slab. He looked to be slipping in and out of consciousness. Shadow took a deep breath and reached out to touch his shoulder. He jolted and cause Shadow to jump back. "Calm down," she said.

"Who are you?" Poe asked weakly.

"An acquaintance. I've brought you something to drink." She attempted to give him the water, but he declined. "I'm here to help. I won't hurt you unless you make me." Reluctantly, Poe drank from the canister.

"Shadow?" Poe asked, finally coming to a realization. His vision cleared and he could make out the red and black of her hair and the yellow of her eyes. She smiled.

"Just finish the water so I can get back and not get caught, Poe." He liked the way she said his name. He felt safe with her, despite her being on the Dark Side. He finished the water and Shadow went to leave.

"Wait," He said. This might be his chance to get out of there.

"What is it? Keep your voice down."

"Can you help me out a little more?" Poe asked, desperation in his eyes. Shadow's eyes widened.

"Can I what?!"

"Get me out of here, please. I can't take this interrogation anymore. I don't want to die here." He managed to fake a tear. It rolled down his cheek and onto his uniform.

"You know I can't." Shadow thought for a second, then left the pilot alone in the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"You've really brought all your energy to the fight today, Shadow." Kylo Ren lunged again at his apprentice. She didn't respond, instead spun to attack her teacher. There were two things on her mind at that moment, beating her teacher and helping Poe Dameron. Could she go against her beloved teacher and lord and help Resistance scum escape? She knew that answer was no. But maybe there was something else she could do. "Ha!" Ren screamed as he attacked the woman again. Shadow fell onto her back and dropped her saber. Ren stood above her with his boot on her stomach. "Pay attention, Shadow Maul. It could be the death of you if you don't." He released his boot, and she stood. "Again," Ren said calmly and raised his lightsaber. Shadow caught her breath and stretched her hand out to her saber which flew into her hand.

"Come get me," Shadow said and ran in the opposite direction. Ren ran after her, slightly impressed by her obedience despite her lack of energy. Coming to the wall, Shadow spun and stretched out her hand at Ren. He stopped in his tracks and dropped his saber. Shadow grabbed onto his throat using the force, and he smiled, choking. Ren raised his hands in surrender.

Gently, Shadow placed her teacher on his feet. She let go of him and fell to the ground in front of him. Ren approached his exhausted apprentice and crouched. After he removed her helmet, he put his index finger under her chin and tilted her head to have her look at him. "You gave all your energy today. I am proud." His expression shown no inclination that he was proud, but Shadow could sense it within him. "Expect the unexpected," was the last thing he said before he left the practice room. Shadow lay exhausted on the floor of the room.

Shadow watched as the last of the ships came into the hangar. She watched as lines and lines of storm troopers came into the base. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed one trooper exit the line and enter one of the ships. Curiosity got the best of her, and she followed the unknown trooper.

"Hello," She half-whispered. The trooper turned. He was sweating and breathing heavily. "Are you ok?" He stared for a moment.

"Yes, I am fine. I…had my first battle today." His expression did not change. He was out of breath, and seemed scared.

"What is your identification?"

"FN 2187," he responded immediately. Shadow inched closer to him.

"What happened on the battlefield?" She asked.

"I couldn't do it." He sighed.

"You want to change sides, don't you?" Shadow whispered.

"I am loyal to the First-."

"I can help you." Shadow smiled, and so did he.

The two of them decided to meet in the hall in front of Shadow's chambers that night when mostly everyone was in the dining hall.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Shadow took a deep breath before she grabbed her black cloak. This was it. She was going to defy the First Order and her Kylo Ren. She pushed away the thoughts of Ren and opened the door to find FN 2187 standing 'guard' outside her room. "You ready?" He asked. She nodded though inside she knew she was not. She put her fingertips on the edge of the fabric and placed the hood over her head, concealing her face. She and FN made their way through the dark halls, passing numerous storm troopers. They turned a corner and Shadow's heart nearly stopped.

"Shadow," came Kylo Ren's distorted voice from behind the mask. "What are you doing?" She had to come up with something quick. Her heart sped up, and she looked at FN. Suddenly, she spoke, a shock even to herself.

"You told me to expect the unexpected, so I thought I would bring extra fighting power." Shadow smiled from under her hood. Without another word, Ren passed Shadow and FN followed by three storm troopers. When he was out of sight, Shadow let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

Outside of Interrogation room 226, Shadow paused. She turned to FN 2187. "Listen, the prisoner is the best pilot of the Resistance. He can fly anything. Get him to a ship and get out here. And do it fast."

"You aren't going to help us?"

"I've helped as much as I can without causing suspicion."

"At least help me open the chains holding him. I don't have a key or anything, and I can't blast them off." FN pleaded. "Besides, there's a guard."

"Fine," Shadow spun on heel and approached the guard. She looked at him. "You will let us into the prisoner's room and leave, forgetting this ever happened." Shadow told him.

"I will let you into the prisoner's room and leave, forgetting this ever happened." He repeated, and did as he was forced. Shadow entered the room with intimidating footsteps. Poe squirmed before he noticed who it was. Without a word, she outstretched her hand to the latches holding him. FN came in behind Poe as Shadow undid the latches.

"Now go, don't make me regret this." She told FN.

"Thank you," Poe whispered as he gave Shadow an unexpected kiss on the cheek. It caught her off-guard. The traitor and the pilot rushed out of the room and down the hall. Shadow watched as the two ran, then swiftly turned and walked the opposite way.

She passed numerous troopers before she heard the call. Shadow turned the corner to the corridor that led to her chambers. When she saw no one, she frantically ran into her room. Just as she sat on her bed, she heard the call over the speaker.

"Fugitives on the run, all fighters needed." Shadow grabbed her lightsaber and rushed to the hangar. She got there in time to see FN and Poe leave the base. She looked up to see Kylo Ren. He was without his helmet and obviously furious. He caught her eye, turned, and disappeared. Shadow let out a relieved sigh.

It had been over a week since the pilot and traitor escaped, and the practice fighting had been extremely difficult. Kylo Ren was quick to anger, and after the escape everything set him off. He was destroying equipment and killing off his men at the drop of a hat.

Shadow ambled slowly through the corridors. There it was. Her finger hovered on the button to open the door to the practice room, reluctant to press it knowing Ren's wrath lie on the other side. She could practically feel her heart move to her throat. She had grown scared of her mentor. Shutting her eyes, Shadow pressed the button and powered up her lightsaber.

The room was cold and unnerving. She saw no sign of her teacher. The door slid shut behind her causing her to jump. Powering down her saber, she hugged the handle to her chest. Shadow stood in the darkness, unsure of what to do. Frightened, she took a step forward, then another and another. Finally, she heard it. The hum of a newly powered lightsaber came from behind her.

Instinctively, Shadow powered her saber and spun to face Kylo Ren. His first lunge dropped her on her back. He became more powerful when enraged. Winded, Shadow laid there, unable to move. He screamed at her to get up, but she didn't move. "GET UP!" Her vision blurred slightly, and Ren's voice faded into the distance. Soon, she saw only black.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Shadow's vision slowly came back to her. Her eyes fluttered open to reveal the medic unit. The medic went to her side. "Shadow Maul?" The medic's voice was slightly faded still, but audible. Shadow wearily murmured a 'yes' in response. "Hello, I'm Ygritta, the medic on duty this evening. You hit your head pretty hard on the floor of the practice room. I've never seen Kylo Ren so upset. I mean, I've never seen his face, but his monotone distorted voice was upset I'm sure." Her constant speaking began to annoy Shadow. "Sorry if I speak too much. I've always been fascinated with the Zabrak species. You're the only one we have on the First Order base."

"I'm not fully Zabrak. I'm mostly human." Her voice was straight and showed her growing irritation.

"Right, sorry. Your grandfather has been such an idol to me. There are so many stories about him." Ygritta smiled at her. She hated bubbly people like this medic. Realizing her distaste, she changed the subject. "Both of your hearts are working perfectly. You'll be fine to leave in a few hours. I'll tell the guard to let Kylo Ren know you are almost healed." Ygritta left the room in a hurry. Shadow searched the healing room for her black cloak. Finding it, she placed it on her back and lifted the hood. She knew she'd have to tell Ren before he found out. She searched her mind for something to explain herself. It hit her like a brick. _A fake mission_ , she thought.

Kylo Ren entered the medic unit and closed the door behind him. He removed his helmet and sat on the edge of the bed. "Shadow…I…" Shadow silenced him for a moment with a hand on his shoulder. "I shouldn't have been so hard on you." He took a breath. "You were scared, and I was blinded by rage."

"I am all right now, Ren. This just tells me I need more training if I collapsed so easily." Shadow smiled weakly. "But I think I need rest now." Ren looked into Shadow's gold and red eyes. For a moment they stared before it was cut off by Shadow's embrace. "I have never thanked you for my training. I think it's time I did." Her clutch tightened around him as he returned the hug.

The silence engulfed the room like a poisonous gas. Shadow wasn't sure how she was feeling. Too much had happened in such a small amount of time. She betrayed her teacher because she fancied a strange Resistance pilot, she helped a traitor transfer to the Resistance, and now she wasn't sure of the feelings welling up inside of her. She had never seen her mentor is such a state. She felt pity for him, but something else too. Something she had never felt before. It was sudden and new, it even scared her a little.

"You know," Shadow began, a sudden burst of memories came flooding forth. "Since I was a child, I've heard stories about my grandfather. I never got to meet him thanks to Obi-Wan Kenobi. I think he would be proud of me." She smiled to herself. "My mother gave birth to me on Dathomir. My father was human, my mother was a pale Zabrak. She was an excellent fighter, though that didn't stop the Resistance from killing her. She told me I reminded her of Darth Maul. I was the first in over twenty generations to be born with hair. After I told my father of my wanting to come to the First Order, he presented me with my grandfather's lightsaber. We corresponded for about two weeks, then he stopped responding. It wasn't until a month later I found out he passed away." Shadow sighed, unsure of how to play off her helping the Resistance. She had to tell Ren.

"I am sorry for your loss. You were lucky to be close with your parents. I didn't have that privilege."

"Ren I need to tell you something. But I'm scared to. You might get the wrong idea." Shadow turned to Kylo Ren, the cloak spinning around her like a black wave. "You have to listen to my whole story."

"Tell me, Shadow." Ren stood. He was not much taller than she was, but she seemed so small as she began to speak.

"I assisted in the escape of the pilot and the traitor." Shadow prepared herself for the worst, but she was not prepared for the look of disappointment in her mentor's eyes. It stabbed at her heart. Before he could speak, Shadow spoke again. "I have a plan, but you wouldn't have approved if I told you what I was doing. The Resistance now has the map to Luke Skywalker's whereabouts. Now that I have gained the trust of Poe Dameron and FN 2187, they will tell General Organa about me. I can pose as a convert and infiltrate the Resistance from the inside." Ren eyed her up and down before he said a word.

"You are too smart for your own good." Ren smiled, it partially shocked her. This was a new side of him she had never seen before. Shadow liked his smile. It was bright and broad. Inside, she wished he'd do it more often. "You will need more training before you embark on this mission. I will speak to General Hux about it immediately." Ren put on his helmet and rushed out of the room.

Shadow could feel the weight fly off her shoulders. She would use this 'mission' to finally determine where her real allegiance was. Since the interrogation, her mind had been racing between the light side and the dark side. There was too much turmoil inside of her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Nightmares plagued Shadow's mind once more. She expected them to cease after she told her mentor of her affiliation with Poe and FN 2187. They only got worse.

 _Shadow stepped out of the ship onto the Resistance base. She stared at the trail of blood outstretched in front of her. She followed it to a Holo room. There was a holo map showing an unknown location. Around the table on the cold floor were piles of gory corpses. Shadow stepped cautiously around them. Poe was lying behind the table in agony, bruised, and bloody. His stretched his hand out to her and murmured, "Please stop, you're scaring me." Shadow looked down to find her holding her mentor's saber and the dead body of General Organa._

Shadow awoke with a deep, frightened breath. Her chest rose and fell with each panicked lungful. She choked out a cry before the tears welled up in her eyes. They rolled down her round cheeks onto the blanket. She hugged it to her chest and choked out another sob. "I can't do this," she whispered. Reluctantly, she stumbled to the sink to wash her face. As she lifted her head to the mirror, she saw Kylo Ren in place of her. She jolted back, tripped over her own feet. She backed into the wall across from the sink. Bringing her knees to her chest, she cried out again.

Suddenly, there was a knock at her door. It made her jump to her feet. She looked in the mirror again and saw herself. Her hair was a mess of black and red, and her bright, yellow-red eyes were puffed. Her bottom lip trembled slightly as she splashed the water on her face before opening the door. It shocked her to see Kylo Ren standing in the doorway. "May I come in?" He asked quietly, cautiously. Shadow moved to the side to allow her mentor into her room. He glided into her chambers with an infinite amount of grace. It was intimidatingly attractive, she thought but quickly pushed it out of her mind. Ren removed his helmet on placed it on the small side table next to Shadow's black cot. He eyed her lightsaber mounted lovingly on the wall. "You'll need that for your mission." He said as he turned to meet her eyes. Noticing she had recently been upset, he quickly wrapped his arms around her. She practically disappeared in the fabric of his cloak.

"I don't think I can do this," she howled after a long moment. "I had too much confidence when I planned this. Now I realize I am not prepared." She buried her face into his chest. Ren ran his gloved hand through his apprentice's hair to attempt to comfort her.

"You are prepared. You have trained with me for over six years, and you are highly intelligent. You can do this, and you will." He placed a kiss on the top of her head. "If you should need me, meditate. I will sense you tap into the force and we can communicate." Ren placed his index finger under Shadow's chin. "I have an immense amount of faith in you." His slight smile sent a shockwave throughout Shadow. She pushed him as the feeling began to grow.

"This is my first mission. I am terrified!" Shadow was on the edge.

"I know." Ren calmly responded as he elegantly sat on her bed. His eyes met hers again, and she quickly turned away. The tears welled up again. She hated to sob in front of her beloved mentor, but she was unable to stop the tears from falling. She turned her back to Ren as she heard him speak. "You have so much power inside of you. You see that during our fights. Your ability to use the force has gotten so much more deadly. You nearly decapitated me the other day." Shadow let out a small giggle. It was true. If it weren't for Ren's skill at dodging attacks, he would not have been sitting there. "Anyone in their right mind would be afraid of you. You are a tall carnivorous beauty with an appetite to kill." Ren pushed himself off the bed and stood behind Shadow. "You _are_ ready for this mission." He whispered in her ear as he embraced her once more. Shadow leaned her head back to stare up at him. "Grab your cloak and come with me." Ren let go of Shadow and went for his helmet. She unenthusiastically placed her cloak around her shoulders.

Shadow followed Kylo Ren down the black corridor that led to his chambers. Her heart sped up. No one was allowed in Ren's room. The door opened and the two entered.

"What are we doing here?" Shadow eyed the room. It was larger than hers and bare.

"We are here because you need inspiration." Ren moved aside to reveal a beaten up helmet. Shadow stood, staring at Darth Vader's crushed mask. She stumbled forward and knelt in front of it. Her hand shook as she raised it. Her fingertips met the cold metal.

"I can do this," Shadow whispered.

"I can't hear you," Ren encouraged.

"I can do this," she said louder. Again and again she said it. She could do this, and she would.


	7. Chapter 7

Good evening, boils and ghouls. Asylumina here! Sorry this chapter is REALLY short. It's just kind of a transition chapter. Let me know how you're liking my first story. Reviews welcome!

Chapter Seven

Today was the day her mission would begin. Shadow inhaled deeply, the nervousness kicking in again. She thought back to the night before. Ren's arms holding her close, the whisper in her ear, his faith in her, Vader's helmet. She couldn't think of that, or she'd never leave. She would never find her true allegiance. Shadow gathered her things for the journey and threw on her black cloak. Just as she opened the door to her chambers, she was greeted by Kylo Ren.

"You're prepared, I see." Came his distorted voice from behind his helmet.

"Yes, sir." Shadow responded, silently hoping he would remove it. She wanted to see his face once more before her mission began.

"Good. Come." He spun and walked out the door. Evidently, she would not get her wish. She followed obediently. She attached her saber to her belt and placed her helmet on her head as she walked. They walked out to the hangar. Hux stood by the transportation ship. She was not the best pilot, but she had enough training to fly it without crashing.

"The coordinates for the Resistance base have been programmed in the ship." Hux said, obviously annoyed. "Kylo Ren assures me we cannot attempt to attack the base because General Organa would destroy the map before we got near it." He gave Shadow a look that could send daggers. Hux left the hangar without another word.

Shadow took another breath before she stepped forward. Ren put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. "Good luck, Shadow Maul. I know you will return with what we need." Shadow paused, then walked into the ship.

The trip would take a day at hyperspeed, two without. Shadow's ship lifted off the ground and she glided out of the base. Ren watched with slight heartbreak to see her leave. He would feel so alone without seeing his apprentice every day. Ren had grown accustomed to seeing her for the past six years.

On the ship, Shadow took the time to reassure herself that she could do this. "My first mission is a lie." She told herself. "How could I have done this? Any of this?" She took in a deep breath. "And why can't I stop thinking of Kylo?" She whispered.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Shadow could see the Resistance base in the near distance. This was it. She landed the ship and took a deep breath. Exiting the ship, she was greeted by the angry faces of soldiers who fought for the Resistance. She raised her hands in surrender.

"What are you doing here?" One asked, gun raised.

"I am here to see General Organa." Shadow's voice distorted behind the helmet. The soldiers grabbed hold of her and brought her through halls upon halls. Finally, they stopped in front of a door.

"Wait here," One told her and he went into the room and returned a moment later. The soldiers forced her into the room. Shadow noticed the General immediately. Her face was kind, yet stern and worn with age. Instinctively, Shadow removed her helmet and knelt before her. Organa greeted Shadow.

"Why do you come here?" She asked. Her voice shook slightly.

"My name is Shadow Maul. I assisted in the escape of the prisoner pilot. I was with the First Order, but I am here to convert to the Resistance." Organa smiled broadly.

"Another convert. You are welcome here. Have you had much training?" Organa asked.

"I trained under Kylo Ren for six years, General." Shadow responded after a moment. She decided to tell the truth as much as she could. The General went silent.

"Kylo Ren?"

"Yes, General. I am an excellent fighter thanks to him. He trained me personally."

General Organa told Shadow to stand. "You are more than welcome to stay at the Resistance base. We have dinner in our dining hall at dusk. I will have someone show you to an empty cot." She motioned for Shadow to have a seat. Shortly after, a man sauntered through the doors into the room. He stopped in front of Shadow.

"Long time, no see, Shadow." He said to her.

"Poe?" Shadow practically jumped in his arms. He lifted her in a hug.

"I was wondering when you would be converting. How did ol' Big Head take it?"

"You mean Kylo Ren? He doesn't know." She smiled brightly, as did Poe.

"Anyway, follow me. My room has an empty cot." Shadow thanked the General before leaving.

The corridors at the Resistance were much brighter than the ones at the First Order base. People were different. They were mostly smiling and happy. Shadow stuck out like a sore thumb with her flowing black cloak and saber showing from her belt. Already, she missed the First Order base. She enjoyed dark colors. It was too bright here.

Poe pressed a button and the electronic door swooshed open. There were three cots in the room. One was bare, one was surrounded with personal items, and the other was occupied, but held nothing special. "Yours is the empty one next to mine. Our other roommate is Finn, or as you knew him FN 2-whatever." He flashed her a smile.

"The rooms aren't segregated by gender?"

"Not at all. A few years ago, I was the only guy in a room full of girls. It was terrible. I'm glad I have a guy as my roommate and you. It's like a sleepover since the two of you are such good friends." She definitely missed the First Order…and Ren.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Shadow sat on the cot with her legs crossed Indian-style. Try as she might, she couldn't clear her mind to meditate. She sat there for thirty minutes, unable to keep her mind still and focused on communicating with her mentor. Kylo Ren had been the only thing on Shadow's mind since she arrived. Why was it so hard to focus on him now? "Yoohoo," came a cheery voice from the doorway. Shadow jolted up. "Whoa, didn't mean to scare you." Poe laid down on his cot. "You weren't at dinner again."

"I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat, Shadow." Poe sat up and took hold of Shadow's hand. "I mean it."

"I said I'm not hungry." Shadow grabbed her cloak and swung it around her as she stormed out of the room. _Who does he think he is_ , she thought. _He has no right telling me what to do_.

Shadow passed soldiers she didn't know. They gave her looks and whispered as she passed. At the First Order base, she was the feared apprentice to Kylo Ren. Here, she was the convert. She turned a corner and ran straight into someone. "I'm so sorry," he repeated over and over. She was tired of people.

Shadow powered both sides of her lightsaber in one swift motion. She knocked the man to the floor, bent down to him, and growled.

"Next time, watch who you run into." Shadow powered down her duel-ended saber and stood up straight. She looked around and saw everyone staring. From behind her, she heard someone snicker. Without hesitation, Shadow spun to face him. He stopped laughing when her icy gaze met his. She stretched out her hand and used the force to grab his throat. She lifted him off the ground, his feet swung frantically. She threw him into the wall of the corridor. "Anyone else?" She hissed. No response.

Shadow walked swiftly down the hall and outside. She searched for a spot where there were the least amount of people around. Finally, she came to spot outside of the base where there were no people. She sat on the ground, her cloak flowed around her in the wind.

Shadow sat until the only thing she thought of was Ren. Soon, she was able to connect with the force. She could feel Ren's energy. He was furious with something. She could feel all of his rage. Then, she felt him use the force. It was too much energy for it to be an object. She could feel him grab onto someone and throw them. Suddenly, he stopped.

Ren felt Shadow's energy attach to his. _Finally_ , he thought. Quickly, he retrieved the communicator.

Shadow placed the receiver-bud in her ear. She moved her wrist up to her mouth and pressed a button on the wristlet she wore. "Are you there?" She whispered, still frightened of being caught.

"Shadow," Relief filled Kylo Ren's voice. "I was beginning to worry if you were alright."

"I am for now." She smiled as she thought of Ren. "I may have done something not so smart a few moments ago." She giggled lightly.

"What?" Ren's voice was stern. Shadow's giggle stopped as soon as she heard his tone.

"I may have threatened someone with my saber and thrown some guy into a wall."

"Why would you do something like that? You could jeopardize the mission!"

"I know…I just got tired of the looks and snickers. When I was on the First Order base, I was feared. The soldiers there would walk the other way. The only ones who have been somewhat pleasant are the pilot and General Organa." She paused. "Leia knows I was your apprentice. I stopped going to dinner because she asked so many questions about you." There was silence. "Ren? Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here. I'm going to give you one week there. If I do not have you back on this base in one week, I am going to attack the Resistance base. We can't wait. I have Hux on my back, too. He asks about the mission constantly." He let out a sigh. "One week, Shadow." With that, the communication ended. She put away her communicator and laid back. The sky was clear and dark. Shadow missed the dark.

"Shadow," Poe walked up from behind her. "The General wants to see you."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

"You have to realize that you are not at the First Order any longer!" Leia scolded. "You cannot simply go around threatening people and throwing them into walls!" Shadow let a little smirk loose. "You think this is amusing? If you want to remain in the Resistance, you can stop with these outbursts."

"Yes, General. I'm sorry." Shadow said in a monotone manner. Suddenly, the door opened.

"I told you no one was to enter." General Organa told the soldier.

"Finn is back with Chewbacca and Rey. They request to see you immediately."

"Send them in." She motioned for them to proceed. Shadow backed up in the dark corner of the room.

"General Organa," Rey ran into the room. "We have recovered the map in the BB-8 droid." C-3PO walked in behind her followed by Finn, Chewbacca, and Poe as well as numerous members of the Resistance.

"BB-8 believes the rest of the map is in R2D2." C-3PO chimed in. There was a lot of commotion as 3PO bent down to his old friend. R2 came to life. He presented the room with a holomap with a small piece missing. BB-8's hologram fit perfectly in the missing piece. Shadow stood mesmerized. The map was real, and she had to get her hands on it.

Shadow waited until dark had fallen again. She recalled the General telling Rey that she and Chewbacca would follow the map and would find Luke that following day.

Finn was asleep in his cot, and Poe was just dozing off. As Shadow grabbed her cloak, Poe noticed her movements. "Where are you going?" He asked, half asleep.

"Just for a walk." She smiled down at him.

"I can come with you if you want." He smiled back flirtatiously.

"Maybe another time, Poe. I'd like to be alone with my thoughts." Poe stood despite Shadow's protests.

"You shouldn't be roaming the halls without a chaperone after what happened." He laughed. Shadow rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine now. I can walk on my own."

"I'm coming with you, no matter what you say." She left out an angry sigh as she began to walk with Poe on her heels. So close, and yet so far.

Shadow walked through the seemingly endless halls until she met the exit door. The outside air was crisp. The small breeze kissed her unhidden face as she stepped out. Poe stood next to her, watching her red and black locks flow behind her. As her hair blew, her petite horns peeked through. Poe smiled as he noticed how beautifully the moonlight made her pale skin glow. It complimented her well. Then, he came to a realization. Suddenly, Shadow's expression changed. She could feel the force. It was Kylo Ren. He wanted to speak with her.

"What's the matter?" Poe asked placed a concerned hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine. I just have a lot on mind. I wanted to think some things through." She turned to him. "Thank you for the walk, but if you'll excuse me." Shadow began to walk away out to the area she first spoke to Ren, but Poe followed close behind.

"Hey," he said. "I'm not leaving you. I'm not Kylo Ren who would train you for six years and just let you join the Resistance." Poe had such an angry look in his eye. She almost laughed in his face. Ren wouldn't have let her leave if she had decided to convert…or would he? "He let you leave. If I was him, I would have never let you out of my sight. I know we've only known each other for so little a time, but don't you feel this?" Poe held onto Shadow's upper arms and he stared into her eyes. "You helped me from the beginning. You had no idea who I was, and you still helped us escape. It was here since we first met. It was like a moth drawn to a flame." Shadow felt Ren's need to speak with her.

"Poe…" Before she could say anything more, Poe pressed his lips to hers. Shadow couldn't move a muscle. Poe didn't keep the kiss long. He looked in her eyes. They were practically glowing in the moonlight. Now panicking, Shadow bolted from his arms. Poe stood there, frozen in shock. It was the first time he was rejected.

Shadow ran until she reached the back entrance to the base. She could still feel the force, but she had to dismiss it. She would contact Ren after she retrieved what she needed.

Unfamiliar with the halls at the back end of the base, Shadow relied on instinct to tell her where to go. She bolted through the halls with lightning speed, turning corners where instinct told her to go. Then, by what seemed like luck, she found the door. Just before she opened it, she heard voices. It was the General and Poe. Quickly, Shadow made her way into the room and slunk into the darkest corner. A few moments after the door closed, it opened again, and in came Poe and Leia. "I'm sure it just shocked her, that's all."

"You didn't see her face, General. I think she has bigger problems than we first guessed. And if I may be frank, I think your son is behind it." The General slapped Poe clear across the face.

"You watch your tongue when speaking about him. He may have become Kylo Ren, but somewhere inside of him is my Ben. Now go find her before it's too late. If that's really how you feel, you need to calm her down and tell her instead of just bursting it out like that." Poe nodded and left. Leia stood at the holotable and plugged in the pieces of the map. They appeared brightly above the table. Shadow had to move to stay hidden. Soon, Leia let out a stressed sigh. She unplugged the map and it disappeared. She left both pieces on the table and left.

When the doors closed, Shadow swiftly got the pieces of the map and hid them in her cloak. She left the room and ran back outside.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Shadow needed to be alone desperately. Her mission was almost complete. All she'd have to do was get in a ship and go back to the First Order. Just as she got to the secluded area outside of the base, she felt the force again. She put in her buds and activated the communicator.

"Shadow, finally!" Kylo Ren sounded so relieved. "I was getting worried. Have you gotten the map yet?" Shadow took a deep breath.

"Yes, I have it. I will be leaving in a few hours." She said into the receiver.

"Good, I need you home." Ren said. "I will see you in two days then." The communication ended. Shadow looked to the stars. She was going home.

"Shadow!" She heard Poe's voice from a distance. She turned to see him running toward her. "I have been looking everywhere for you." Shadow stood and simply smiled at Poe.

"I'm leaving, Poe." She looked to the ground.

"What do you mean you're leaving?"

"Neither side is for me. I've decided to travel to Takodana. The people there are neutral, and I could live for myself there." Shadow lied. "Will you help me get a ship?" Poe looked hurt.

"Of course, I'll help you get a ship."

Poe and Shadow made their way to the hangar after grabbing Shadow's things from the room. They chose a transportation ship. "I'm coming with you," Poe finally said. "We can go to Takodana together."

"Poe, you're the best pilot in the Resistance. They can't lose you. Leia can't lose you." Shadow said.

"I'll take my map back now." General Organa said as soldiers grabbed Shadow by the arms and began to pull her away.


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry for the long wait, everyone! Here's 12. Not sure how much longer I can keep the story going, but I'll try my best.

Chapter 12

The cuffs dug into Shadow's flesh. The room was dark and damp. She no longer had her saber, nor her favorite cloak. She felt a chill travel through her bones. She took a moment to recall earlier events.

The Resistance brought Shadow to a secluded room. Time seemed to slow down around her as they dragged her through the halls. She watched as people snickered at her and whispered. "First Order scum," she heard a woman say.

The General shouted at her, screeched and screamed. Shadow kept a straight face the entire time. Leia seemed to be more upset with herself than she was with Shadow. After a while, Organa left and let a few soldiers stand guard.

Finally alone in the room, she placed her handcuffed hands on her lap and sat cross-legged. She was able to quickly tap into the force. She felt Ren's energy. After a few moments, she was able to send a strong wave of energy through him. When Shadow wasn't able to pick up the communicator, Ren knew there was trouble.

The door flung open, and the moment she was waited for was at hand. "How could you do this?" Poe shouted. "After the Resistance took you in and gave you shelter. You were never going to Takodana were you? All of this was a lie!"

"Poe, just let me explain." Shadow requested nonchalantly.

"What could you possibly have to explain?"

"Just sit down and hear me out." Shadow motioned with her cuffed hands. Poe took a deep breath and sat in front of her, motioning for the door to close. He gave an expectant look. "Ok," she began. "When I first saw Ren torturing you, I had this gut feeling. I can't explain it, but it was something weird and new. I wanted to help you, but I didn't know how." Poe rolled his eyes. "The night I gave you the water, I had a terrible nightmare. I dreamt that you had escaped and came to room. But Ren came into the room after you and…" She paused for a long moment. "He killed you, then turned to kill me. I woke up terrified, so I went to the dining hall for a drink. I heard Ren and General Hux say you weren't going to make it. Then, I went to your interrogation room and gave you the water. I felt better, free even, when I did that. The next day, I met Finn. I knew he would be able to get you out with a little push.

"I assisted with your escape, and for the next week I didn't know where my allegiance really was. So, I came up with this fake mission to get me here to figure myself out."

"But you took the map…" Poe eyed her up and down. "You really do belong with the dark side."

"I said what I meant. I took the map to make sure it wouldn't belong to either side. Then, I was going to go to Takodana to hide. Luke disappeared for a reason. I don't think he wants to be found."

"Well, the General already sent Rey to follow the map. Your plan didn't work out too well."

"Kylo Ren will attack on this base to find me, you realize that?" Shadow's face turned serious and concerned. "He will kill everyone on this base. You need to leave."

"Now you care about me?" Poe stood angrily.

"I have cared since I first spoke to you. Why do you think I helped you? Why do you think I told you to stay instead of come with me?"

"You really do care," Poe whispered, looking at the floor. "Shame you blew it." He turned and walked out the door. Shadow didn't know what to do other than sit and sob.

She pushed herself against the wall and pulled her knees to her chest. Soon, her quiet sobs became loud cried, then they came screams. She screeched at the top of her lungs. She didn't stop when the soldiers came in to silence her. She continued to scream until she fell asleep on the cold floor.

Shadow heard the door open. She didn't know what time it was, but she decided to pretend she was asleep. Next, she felt someone undo her cuffs and drape her cloak over her shoulders. "Shadow, you need to wake up." A distorted voice said. She was shocked to stare back into the face of her own helmet. "I'm getting you out of here."

Shadow put the cloak's hood over her head to cover her face. She and the man in the helmet ran through the corridors and exited the base. They paused as they looked to the night sky and saw the Star Destroyer in the sky.

It landed just three hundred yards from the Resistance base. Shadow took it as her opportunity and grabbed hold of the masked assistant. The two ran to the now opening hatch. Kylo Ren emerged from the hatch. Shadow jumped into his arms. "Oh, Shadow," Ren whispered through his helmet. It sounded scratchy and sincere. As Ren noticed the person behind her, he quickly retrieved his lightsaber. It fired out crackling and earsplitting.

"No, Ren, no, he helped me escape!" Shadow stood in front of Ren with her hands on his chest. She turned as the masked man took off her helmet. "Poe," she whispered as she approached him.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

After some persuasion on her part, Shadow was able to stop Kylo Ren from destroying Poe Dameron on the spot. Instead, Ren commanded his troopers to secure him and Shadow in the ship. Seeing as he only brought one ship with him, he was unable to attack the Resistance. Soldiers ran toward the ship, blasters ablaze. Ren used the force and threw the first few lines of soldiers back at least one hundred yards. Without hesitation, Ren retreated into the ship to tend to Shadow.

The trip was quiet, and tense. Poe sat cuffed across from Shadow sandwiched between two guards. Shadow didn't move after she decided the floor of the ship was the best place for her. Ren was nowhere in sight, and Shadow feared the punishment that awaited her, if not from Kylo Ren, surely from General Hux. She not only jeopardized the mission, the mission blew up like the Death Star.

Shadow crossed her legs in front of her and took in a deep breath. Her life had been turned on its head. In the prior months, she was the feared apprentice of Kylo Ren, now, she had seen the other side of the war: the light side. She was confused, didn't know where her heart belonged. Now, she knew.

Finally, after a long ride, the Destroyer landed on the First Order base. The guards escorted Poe to an Interrogation room to hold him. Ren personally escorted Shadow to her chambers. She stepped foot in her old room. The feeling of home hit like a brick. She gracefully placed her lightsaber in its holder on the wall and put her helmet on the small table. Sitting on the cot, she pulled her hood down. Ren removed his helmet and stood in front of Shadow. SLAP!

"You could have been killed!" Ren shouted. Shadow placed her hand on her stinging cheek. "You're lucky you got out alive." She couldn't bring herself to look at him at the moment. He had never raised a hand to her like that. "General Organa would have let you starve if you hadn't escaped."

"Do not raise your hand to me again." Shadow growled at the floor. SLAP!

"You stupid girl! I am your superior." BLAM! Ren flew into the wall opposite Shadow. He slowly sat up from the floor to see Shadow's hand stretched out and a tear rolling down her cheek. Before he could stand, Ren took another blow through the force. Shadow sprinted across her chambers, swiping her saber, and powering it. She spun and held the handle of the saber against Ren's throat. "Please…Shadow," he choked out. "I…"

"You are never to raise a hand to me again." She snarled through gritted teeth. "Never!" She barked at him.

"Shadow, please," The look in his eyes was sincere, Shadow could see that. Reluctantly, she powered down her saber. Ren sat up, and Shadow punched him in the jaw. He let out a yelp and held his chin, moving it back and forth. She had nearly broken his jaw.

Shadow put her saber in its designated place and sat crossed legged on the cot and watched as Ren struggled slightly to stand. "Shadow," he said finally. "You need to know that every day you were away, I felt so lost." Ren collapsed on his knees and crawled toward the cot. He kneeled in front of Shadow and stared into her yellow red eyes. "It was as if I didn't know myself without you here. I worried every day that you were gone. You failed the mission, I know, but I am still so proud of you. I never should have let you leave."

"Ren, I left because I was confused. I didn't know where my heart belonged. I helped Finn and Poe escape of my own free will because I wanted to know what the other side was like. Over there, the Resistance scum looked at me like I was a disease. They talked about me and laughed at me. The halls were too bright, and the General was too kind. She looked at me like I was her own daughter. And when she put me in that damp, cold room and chained me up, I could see the look of betrayal in her eyes. That must have been how she looked when you left." Ren stared up at her.

"How did you know?"

"I heard the General speak of it." Shadow pushed herself off the bed and onto the floor. She sat across from her mentor and placed a hand on his cheek. "It must have been hard on both of you."

"She didn't care. I turned because I was tired of being thrown to the side by both of them, her and my father."

"I am your family now, Ben." Hearing his own name sent a shiver down his spine. He hadn't heard it over eight years.

"Shadow, I need to tell you something." Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door. It startled both of them, but Ren stood as if commanded and retrieved his helmet and Shadow opened the door. A trooper came into her room.

"Sir, General Hux requests your appearance in the control room."

"I will be there. You may go." His distorted voice seemed a drastic change from the sweet voice she had heard moments ago. Shadow closed the door after the trooper left. "I will speak with you later. It will have to wait." Ren left without another word. Shadow plopped onto the cot with a hefty sigh. Sleep engulfed her. She was happy to be home.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 _"_ _Shadow," the whisper came suddenly. "I need you," it said. "Find me."_

 _"_ _Poe?" Shadow responded. "Where are you?" She followed the disembodied voice to Interrogation room 226. Slowly, she opened the door and saw Poe strapped to a torture contraption. The blades were inches from his skin, which already was cut and bleeding. She ran up to him and placed her hand on his cheek. "Poe,"_

 _"_ _I don't care what side we're on, as long as I'm with you," Poe told her. "I love you, Shadow," He said as he breathed his last words._

Shadow awoke with a start. Fearing for his life, Shadow retrieved her hood and saber, and she rushed down the halls as swiftly and quietly as possible. She arrived at Interrogation room 226 and entered the room. Poe lay there on the floor, cuffed and bruised. No lacerations were found on his skin, which Shadow was relieved to see. "What did he do to you?"

"Nothing," Poe said weakly. "He got his troopers to do it for him. Son of a bitch didn't want to face me."

"Poe, I'm going to get you out of here."

"Where would I go? I can't go back to the Resistance, I betrayed the General. I'd rather just die here."

"Don't you dare say that. You have so much life to live for. I can convince Kylo Ren to keep you here. You can switch sides. I can teach the ways of the Dark Side. We can train together, and I will show you hand-to-hand combat. You will be feared like I am, intimidating. You and I, Poe. I really care about you, and I want to see you succeed, but I can't love you the way you love me." He looked into her eyes.

"I know you love him." Poe winced at his internal pain. "I don't care if it's me or him, I want you happy." He stared at her for a moment, then pressed his lips to hers. She returned his kiss. Distracted, she didn't notice his hands reaching for her belt. The kiss ceased and he smiled. "I will always love you, Shadow. Goodbye." Before she could say a word, Poe powered the saber. The light pierced his chest, and he let out a final breath.

"Poe!" Shadow screeched. "No, no, no!" She quickly powered down the saber and put it in her belt. Her tears flowed like a river. The door to the Interrogation room opened. Ren and Hux entered. Hux looked shocked.

"You killed our only reliable Resistance prisoner. We almost knew the whereabouts of the map! You stupid girl!" Hux raised his hand, and Shadow flinched closing her eyes. The expected slap did not come. She saw Ren hanging Hux in the air by his throat with the force.

"Never raise a hand to my apprentice."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Shadow locked herself in her chambers for days and would not eat. She avoided her mentor and General Hux as long as she could. Taking the hint, Kylo Ren decided to leave her alone, but after five days he could not wait on her any longer.

Ren forced himself into Shadow's chambers. She was sitting cross-legged on the cot. Her eyes were closed and she was relaxed, meditating. "Shadow?" His distorted voice called to her. With no response, he closed the door behind him and sat on the floor in front of her. He stared at her for a few minutes, taking in the perfect arch of her back, the way her legs crossed beneath her, the way her cloak flared out around her. Soon, she ceased her meditations with a long exhale. She opened her eyes and was startled by Ren's unexpected visit.

"How long have you been in here?" She asked angrily.

"Shadow, I'm sorry for what I did to your friend. I should have said it earlier, but I truly am." Shadow sat in silence staring at her mentor. His face had softened, and his words were calm and sincere.

"I know," She said finally. Their eyes locked, and Shadow took a deep breath. "I didn't kill Poe Dameron. He took my lightsaber and did it in front of my eyes. I wanted to convince you to let me train him as my apprentice, like you did for me." The look on Ren's face said he would not have allowed it. She fought back the tear that threatened to appear in her eye.

"You need to stop this. The force can't bring someone back." Ren laced his fingers through hers and held tightly. Shadow pushed herself onto the floor and wrapped her arms around Kylo Ren. Her cries were silent sniffles of despair. Ren tightened the embrace, holding her close to him.

"Shadow," he whispered. "I need to tell you something important." Shadow buried her face in Ren's shoulder and started to sob.

"I feel so alone…" She choked out.

"You will never be alone. I will always be here. Shadow…I…" He paused and lightly pushed her away from him. He stared into her yellow red eyes for a moment. "I love you, Shadow."

Shadow ceased her crying and looked into Ren's eyes. They glistened with welled-up tears. In an instant, she wrapped her arms around her mentor and kissed him. "I love you, Ben."

That's it, guys. I wanted it to be a happy ending! Hopefully those of you that have read it enjoyed it! It may seem like an abrupt ending, but that's the way I wanted it :)

Thank you for accompanying me on the journey of my first ever fanfiction! I may make another one at some point, but for now I'm going to focus on school!


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